


we're meant to find each other

by starstrek



Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Bottom Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani, Everyone Needs A Hug, Falling In Love, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Insecurity, Jealousy, M/M, Misunderstandings, Original Character(s), Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Top Nicky | Nicolò di Genova
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-11
Updated: 2020-11-11
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:01:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27495376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starstrek/pseuds/starstrek
Summary: Nicolo was a people-pleaser. No doubt. He had a really hard time voicing his opinions and saying no, but when Joe's hand touched his for the first time, he knew he was doomed. All the expectations other people had towards him, the urge to please and to be perfect were buried right there; nothing else mattered, but that touch.(or that college!au where Nicky questions all his choices after he met Joe)
Relationships: Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova
Comments: 4
Kudos: 21





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone,
> 
> I'm reposting this fanfic because I love this story. However, it was very ignorant and inconsiderate of me to write Joe drinking. I'm going to make sure to do better research and I will change a few things. It's important to owe our mistakes (even when they were unintentional) and correct them when possible. I apologize and I promise it won't happen again. 
> 
> Please feel absolutely free to correct me when/if necessary. I want to learn and be better.
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

Nicolo di Genova was the son of a famous politician in Italy. His father was actually running for prime minister and that made things a little complicated for Nicky. He always needed to be careful when walking around campus because paparazzi were always trying to snap a shot of him doing something remotely common for his age, but that somehow turned out to be scandalous for a di Genova. 

He was studying theology, because it was either that and going to seminary later, or marrying the daughter of one of his father's friends for good publicity. 

Nicolo was a people-pleaser, no doubt. He had a really hard time voicing his opinions and saying no, but when Joe's hand touched his for the first time, he knew he was doomed. All the expectations other people had towards him, the urge to please and to be perfect were buried right there; nothing else mattered, but that touch. He smiled and Joe smiled back at him, the wrinkle in his eyes making Nicky’s heart pound wildly out of his chest.

They had a few friends in common, but it was their first time officially meeting and Nicky had so many questions: not to the guy, but to God. 

Why was he feeling that way? Why was his heart beating faster and every part of his body wanted to close the space between them? 

— Nico? — he felt Nile's hand on his shoulder. — Are you coming? — He must have had a confused expression, because she rapidly explained that they were all going to a bar near the campus. 

— Sure! — he said. — I would love to. 

xxx

Joe was completely fucked (not in the way he would have liked to be, unfortunately). He had the biggest crush on a guy who was studying to be a priest. Could anyone blame him though? 

Nicky had the most beautiful smile in the world, and his eyes! Oh, his eyes. Joe just wished he could drown in them. He couldn't stop staring and biting his lip (a terrible habit he had developed when nervous) because he didn't know what else to do. That Nicolo di Genova was the kind of man one would write poems about.

Andy took a seat next to Joe and gave him another soda. 

— Dude! You're lusting over a _priest_. Are you serious? — she laughed which made Joe bite his lip even harder. His cheeks were burning and he was a hundred percent sure everyone in the club could hear his thoughts. 

When he looked at Nicky again, who was at the bar grabbing a drink for himself, their eyes met.

_It's just physical attraction._

They both thought at the same time

xxx

It was far from being just physical attraction one month later, because now they were the closest friends who knew everything about each other. They spent more time together than with anyone else; Joe showed Nicky all his secret spots on campus and they had dinner and watched a movie together every Friday.

Nicky loved to cook and Joe was always the first one to sample his new recipes. In return, the Italian was the first (and only, apart from professors) one to see every art Joe finished. Almost every art, the ones Joe made of Nicky were hidden in his room. They talked about everything, the conversations flowing like a river. It was just so easy to be around each other, pretty much like finally coming home.

Joe didn't go on dates anymore. No matter how many times Quynh, Andy and Booker tried to set him up, the answer was always no. He was aware it was impossible for him and his soon to be priest best friend to be together, he just didn't want to lose time with somebody else when he could be hanging out with the most amazing person (or that was what he kept telling himself).

Everything changed one Friday night though, after Nicolo knocked on his door with a pillow under his arm. He had a smile on his face when he said. 

— You told me Booker would be out of town this week and you don't like sleeping alone. I thought I could stay after the movie. If you don't mind, of course.

Joe cursed himself under his breath. Why did he tell Nicky about this irrational fear of the dark and sleeping alone? But he stepped aside and let Nicky in, nonetheless.

It was unsettling to watch Nicky trying to sleep on Booker's bed because: 1) Joe wanted Nicky to sleep on his bed; 2) he looked so beautiful, so comfortable, so perfect with his lips slightly parted and his hair falling on his face; 3) Joe wanted to hide his face on the pillow and scream, but he couldn't.

— Are you staring? — Nicky asked, a small smile on his lips when he turned to look at Joe. — Can't sleep?

Joe felt the color rush up his face, his cheeks burning.

— No. Hm, did I wake you?

— I can't sleep either. Too much on my mind. 

— Maybe we should turn all the lights off? — Joe asked, pointing to the little lamp with the shape of a sheep plugged next to the desk.

Nicky stood up, without answering the question, and walked towards the other man's bed. He sat down next to Joe, watching him closely. Joe was unable to breathe when Nicky's finger touched his lower lip. He wanted to kiss it? Suck it? He didn't know, the room was too small and he was having the hardest time to do the bare minimum to keep his heart beating. 

— You're bleeding, — Nicky caressed the spot tenderly. — What happened?

Oh! He had bitten his lip the entire night. Joe grimaced inwardly. What would he answer? I was nervous with the thought of you sleeping with me but not _with_ me.

— It's a bad habit.

— What do you do to make it stop? Ice? Does ice help? 

— Kiss it better? — he whispered before he knew to stop himself.

_Yusuf Al-Kaysani, you're the most stupid person to ever exist. Congratulations on ruining the best thing that ever happened to you. Now you won't see him anymore, not even as a friend because he probably thinks you're disgusting-_

However, before Joe could finish his thought, he felt Nicky's lips on his. They were firm and yet so soft. Until Nicolo was pulling him closer and kissing him like he was the air he needed to survive. 

When Joe woke up the next morning, his friend was gone, and he was left with the taste of Nicky’s lips on his mouth.

xxx

The room would be entirely dark if not for his constant companion Mr. Sheep. Booker was out of town again to visit his parents and Joe couldn't stop thinking about what had happened last week in this same scenario. It hurt to remember. 

Joe had tried to get in touch Nicky, but the latter had disappeared without answering any of his texts or calls or emails. The silence was way worse than a rejection; Joe was more confused than ever because Nicky had been the one who initiated the kiss, right?

That night, a week later, Joe was almost falling asleep when he heard someone knocking on his door. 

He wanted to be angry when he saw Nicky, he wanted to demand answers and he had so many questions, but he was unable to say a thing. For a long moment, he just stared. 

— Sorry for disappearing. — Nicky said. — I should have- I got your messages, but I didn't want to come here without a solution. Hm, from the moment I met you, then we became friends and I knew, I just knew.

— What? — Joe managed to ask. 

— That I had to leave. 

— Oh, — Joe lowered his head. — Sorry, Nico. I didn't mean to make things difficult and I understand-

Nicolo touched his chin, lifting his head so he could stare into Yusuf's eyes. 

— I had to leave the course I was attending, because I have no idea if God is real. But I know you are. I know that what I feel for you is real and whatever keeps me away from you and this feeling is not something I want. I switched courses.

If Joe was speechless before, now he didn't remember how to talk at all. Of all the scenarios he had played in his head over the past week, this one had never crossed his mind.

— You really need to lose this habit, Joe. I don't like to see you bleeding, — Nicky touched Joe’s lower lip the same way he had done the last time. — I know I just said a bunch of stuff and I will understand if you don't feel the same way. I hope we can still be friends, — He shrugged.

— No. We can't be friends, — Joe smiled, shaking his head. — I want more. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank my friend, Nadin, for reading it first, helping me correct and suggesting new things ♡ English is not my first language and feedback is always welcome, but please be kind.


	2. Chapter 2

— Why? When? — Joe bit his lip and Nicolo gave him a quick kiss murmuring against his mouth that he really should stop doing that. — I need an explanation. Please? — he asked in a whisper, but Nicky heard it anyway.

He adjusted himself, trying to find a comfortable position on Joe's bed; they ended up sitting side by side, their backs against the wall and their faces turned towards one another as they watched each other's expressions. The lights were on and nothing could be hidden, not that either of them had anything to hide.

— Well, I did tell you I started studying theology to please my very catholic family, because "Oh, Nicolo. A priest in the family would be so great for your father's career and since you didn't show any other interests, maybe you should do it." I showed another interest, but it was not good enough for them. — Nicky smiled. — When I met you, you kind of-

— Ruined everything? — Joe prompted. 

— Saved me, — Nicky corrected. — It was easy to pretend nothing was happening at first, but then we grew closer, and if God wanted me to be a priest, he would not have given me the thoughts I'm having when I’m with you. 

— What thoughts?

— Do you want me to tell you or show you? — He raised an eyebrow, and Joe saw so much lust in Nicky’s eyes that he almost passed out.

Joe gasped _'show me'_. And the gasp turned into a moan the minute Nicky was on top of him, both their clothes on the floor. He soon found out Nicolo di Genova was a teaser who loved to take things slow. Very slow. He knew Nicky was a patient guy, but what he thought of as “slow” had to be classified with another word. The way he searched for the lube, so calm like he didn't have an erection himself was insane, and then his fingers inside Joe working him up to what was about to happen next.

Joe was a mess, all his dignity gone the minute he couldn't control how loud he moaned and how often the word _please_ fell from his lips.

— Shh, Yusuf — Nicky placed two fingers inside Joe's mouth. — We don't want to wake up the entire dorm. 

Those damn fucking fingers always touching his mouth; Joe sucked them for a while without thinking twice because only one week ago he was wondering what it would be like to do it, and now he didn't have to anymore. Nicky moaned, unsure of how long they would last, before kissing Joe's hair.

— Nicolo, please — he begged.

Yusuf and Nicolo. The intimacy of their names, that were rarely used by anyone else, made the moment so particular and different than anything they had experienced before.

When Nicky was finally inside him, Joe lost it (literally and metaphorically). This was feeling whole for the first time in his life, as though everything that had ever happened to him was meant to lead to this place, and when he came, he muffled the groan by pressing his face in the pillow. And it didn't take too long for Nicky to bite Joe's shoulder to avoid a loud moan.

Were the stars on his ceiling? Joe had never noticed.

Nicolo pushed away, moving carefully so as not to hurt his partner. He touched Joe's forehead, brushing a curl off. 

— Are you alright?

Joe nodded and looked at Nicky.

— How the fuck does a priest knows how to do that? 

Nicky laughed. 

— I had my adventures before college. And stop calling me a priest. I was never one. And I won't become one, for that matter.

— Forgive me father for I have sinned, — Joe said playfully and Nicky shook his head, hiding a smile. — What now? 

Nicky buried his hand in Joe's curls, pulling him in for a kiss. He would never stop kissing those lips. 

— Now I will take you to dinner. I mean, not now at three in the morning. Tomorrow? — he sat on the bed, and Joe grabbed his wrist; he knew there was a panic in his expression because Nicky added, — I'm just turning the lights off, Yusuf — He smiled — And where's your little friend? The adorable lamp?

— Just turn the lights off and come back. You are the moon when I'm lost in darkness. Always were. I know I'm safe with you, Nicolo

— You're an incurable romantic. — Nicky grinned, because apparently it was all he wanted to do lately. 

In the morning, when Joe woke up, Nicky was no longer in his embrace; unbidden, Joe couldn’t help but wonder if last night had been a dream, but the sight of the other man opening the door with two cups of coffee and a paper bag, that Joe soon found out had two chocolate muffins in it, proved him wrong.

— What are you going to study? — Joe asked, his hands moving to hold Nicky's.

— Take a guess, — Nicky grinned at him, and Joe rolled his eyes, — Come on, give it a shot. If you win, I'll give you the best blowjob you've ever had. If you lose, you give me one.

— I still can't believe you were studying to be a _priest_. I thought you were shy, but you're just a little shit. — Joe giggled. — Culinary!? 

Nicky nodded. — Both are correct. — He laughed. — I mean, I switched to culinary, and I'm a little shit. 

Joe’ smile dimmed as another thought occurred to him.

— Do your parents know?

— Oh yeah, I called last night saying "Mom, I'm not becoming a priest because I fell in love with the sun." — Nicky sighed. — No. I will tell them eventually. Almost my entire family is very conservative, as you know. I don't care though. I care about you. — He leaned in for a kiss and Joe met him halfway. — Tonight at seven? 

— It's a date. — Joe smiled, taking another bite of his muffin.

xxx

All Joe's friends decided to gather in his room that Saturday night. Andy was arguing with Booker, who had returned earlier from his trip, about which movie they should watch while Nile and Quynh were choosing the pizza toppings for their order.

— Joe, my boy, — Quynh started, looking up. — Pepperoni or- wow! — she exclaimed when Joe walked out of the bathroom wearing his leather jacket on top of a black t-shirt and jeans. — First, you look super hot. Second, you smell amazing.

Andy turned around to see and smiled. 

— You look OK, — she said, winking. — All this for us? 

— I have a date actually, — Joe admitted.

The commotion that followed his answer was like each one of their favorite sports teams had scored the winning goal in a match. They were all saying how amazing it was that Joe was finally getting over Nicky, and Booker even threw a condom at him because "better safe than sorry", while Nile gave him a hug and whispered how happy she was for him. It was one big party and he was about to tell who the date was when he heard a few knocks on the door.

Nicky was standing on the other side looking very much at ease in a light blue shirt and blue jeans. He touched the back of Joe's neck, pulling him to a kiss, then he took a few steps forward and closed the door behind them with his feet before pinning the older man against it and kissing him properly. 

Joe was pretty sure he should have said something along the lines of 'all our friends are here', but he was too busy bringing Nicky's hips to his own and deepening the kiss to care for anything else; soft moans and laughs were escaping from their lips when they heard a very loud WHAT coming from Andy.

— Joe, honey, I know you're not catholic but this, — she pointed to them, — can't happen. Well, it can. You're both still in college, but we all know you are in love with him. And you, Nicky, — she turned to stare deep into his eyes. — Why are you playing with his heart if you know you can't be together? You know I love you and honestly I think you would be a phenomenal couple, but you will never go against your family. 

Nicky held Joe's hand, squeezing it lightly. 

— From now on, the only thing I will not go against is my heart, — Nicky declared, and he and Joe exchanged a passionate look. — I switched courses. And I would love to explain the entire thing, but I have a date. 

They left the campus side by side, heads low, both wearing caps to trick paparazzi in case there were any. They were not going far away and even though being in silence with Joe was never uncomfortable, that night Nicolo was losing his mind. What if their friends were right? What if he ended up hurting the most amazing human being in the entire world?

He only noticed he had stopped walking when Joe's hand touched his back. 

— Are you alright, babe?

It was so perfect from the moment they had met and up until now with the cute nicknames and the non-existent personal space. Or better, sharing their spaces. 

— I don't want to hurt you, Yusuf — Nicky whispered, grabbing Joe's arm and shameless hiding his face on the other man's shirt. 

He tried to pull away, but Yusuf hugged him a little tighter. 

— I can make my own choices, Nico. Can you look at me, please? — Nicky did, feeling his eyes burning from the tears that were almost falling. Joe caressed his partner's cheek, before resting their foreheads together. — I know for a fact that we won't hurt each other, but I would rather be hurt by you than not having you at all, — He smiled. — Please try not to overthink this and if you do, just talk to me. We're together.

Rome was oddly quiet that night, which made the moment ten times better. Nicky intertwined their fingers and guided them to the place he desperately wanted to show his man.

Joe was proud of himself for knowing every small restaurant near the campus, but that one was entirely new to him. He was analyzing the space, a little lost in the decoration, when he saw Nicky hugging an old lady. She watched Joe for a minute and smiled, giving a caring slap on Nicky's cheek.

— This is my nonna. Nonna, this is Joe. Hm, can I do the honors tonight? — He pointed to the kitchen. — I'm trying to impress him. 

It was so incredibly nice to talk to Mrs. Francesca di Genova. She asked questions about Joe's classes and how often he visited his family; in the end, she insisted that he should call her nonna too and it was almost as easy as sharing stuff with his Nico. 

Two plates were placed in front of each of them, and Nicky quickly went back to the kitchen to pick his own, before taking a seat next to Joe. 

— Joe, I never asked: why did you choose to study in Italy? — Francesca asked.

— Honest answer? — he thought about it for a second, but he couldn't find a reason. — I don't know. It just felt right. 

Nico smiled when their eyes met. 

— We were meant to find each other. It's like destiny.

The dinner was incredibly pleasing, the food was delicious and it only lost for the company. After washing the dishes together, they said goodbye to Nicky's grandma and left.

On their way back to campus, Joe asked Nicky what he would do on the holidays because their friends were talking about renting a house and spending their break together.

— Is this an invitation? — Nicky inquired.

— Yes, it is. 

— I would love to spend the holidays with you, — the Italian answered, passing one arm around Joe's waist. 

— You told your grandma about me, — Yusuf smiled.

— I was with her, you know. The week I disappeared, — He laughed with the memory. — She said: Aw, Nicolo. I can't believe it took you so long to realize you were in love with him. 

— When did you fell for me? After the kiss? 

— No! — they both stopped, standing in front of each other. — You took me to a picnic, remember? In one of your secret places? You were smiling, the sun reflecting on your skin and I just wanted to be with you so badly. I could no longer picture my life without you, — Nicolo smiled. — When did it happen for you? Why are you- stop laughing, Yusuf. I just declared my love for you.

 _Yusuf._ Nicky said his name in different tones now, there was the caring one, the one in the middle of sex that was always followed by Joe's voice saying Nicolo and the upset one Joe had just discovered.

— No, not laughing at you. It's just- it was the same day for me. Poor Book, heard me crying the entire night, — Joe shook his head, still laughing. — I thought we would never be together, — He closed his eyes, trying to forget the past and wrong assumptions. — Nico, do you want to be my boyfriend? I know it's quite soon and I will understand if you need time because I mean, last week you were about to-

He was shut by Nicky's lips on his.

— I've been waiting for you my entire life. Yes, I do

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank my friend, Nadin, for reading it first, helping me correct and suggesting new things ♡


	3. Chapter 3

Joe was laughing by himself when he locked his phone; maybe a little too loud because all his friends just stared like he was completely out of his mind. He placed the phone on the kitchen table, screen down, and walked to the living room taking a seat next to Andy.

— Was it Nicky? — she asked.

— Contrary to popular belief, I'm not that needy.

They had arrived in Malta three hours earlier, three months after Joe had invited Nicky to join them for the holidays, and between unpacking and going to the supermarket, the couple barely had any time together. 

— You just played yourself, Al-Kaysani. He's buying groceries with Nile so I thought you were asking for something. I never said you were needy. 

— You're absolutely wrong, Andy, — Booker corrected her and Joe smiled proudly whispering 'see', before resting his head on Andy's shoulder. — He's not needy. He's _super_ needy.

Andy and Quynh laughed while Joe just murmured 'fuck you' and closed his eyes. When Nicky and Nile came back from the supermarket, Booker and Quynh stood up as quickly as they could to help them unpack. Andy didn't move.

— Wow, Andy, thanks for the help, — Nile said sarcastically, leaning against the kitchen door.

— If I move the octopus will wake up-

— Oh! — Nile giggled when she saw Joe all over Andy; head still resting on her shoulder, arms tangled on hers. — Nicky? I think you're the only one who can help Andy. 

— Hm? With what? — He stopped behind Nile, a smile appearing the minute he saw the scene. 

Quynh and Booker passed by them, reclaiming their seats on the couch and the floor, respectively. Nile took the chair that was way too big for her and incredibly comfortable, which made her glare at Booker with a curious expression.

— Oh! I can't see the TV from there. We will fight for it later, — He smiled.

— No way. It's already mine. — She threw her legs on top of one armchair, resting her entire body. 

Nicky sat next to Joe, careful not to wake him up and Andy smiled at how Joe instantly let go of her, tangling himself all over Nicky instead; legs on top of his, both his arms resting on Nick's chest and head clumsily laying on his shoulder. 

— I'm sorry, — she said. 

— Oh, — He laughed. — Don't worry. I'm not jealous of you. — He moved the hand that was caressing Joe's hair to the back of her neck. 

— No! No! — She shook her head. — I'm sorry for thinking you two- you are perfect for each other.

— Tutto bene, — He smiled. — No hard feelings. You were just protecting him.

— And you, — she admitted. — I was worried for the outcome. With your family, you know.

Nicky nodded when she held his hand, squeezing it lightly. — Who's cooking? — He raised his tone so everyone could hear. 

Nile rolled her eyes, hiding a smile. — Which one of us is studying the art of culinary, Nicky? 

— We can order pizza, tonight, — Booker decided. — I'm feeling bad for my man Joe who barely slept last night so let him rest a little bit. 

Nicky raised an eyebrow, but Booker just shrugged.

— Ask him when he wakes up. I have no idea what happened, but he looked terrible this morning.

A few hours later when the doorbell rang, neither Joe or Nicky moved. Quynh was watching them for the last five minutes in absolute awe, Nicky had fallen asleep too and it was genuinely one of the sweetest things she had ever seen.

Quynh threw a pillow at Nile, who couldn't help but smile as well when she caught a sight of the pair. Five minutes later Andy called her friends to the kitchen, after she and Booker had put the plates and glasses for everyone. 

Nico blinked twice, eyes adjusting to the light, and when he noticed the living room was already empty, he placed a kiss on Joe's forehead.

— Yusuf? — he whispered. — We need to eat something. 

— Five more minutes, Nico, — Joe asked.

— If we wait five minutes, there won't be any pizza left. 

Joe shook his head, eyes still closed. 

— Fine, — he said, defeated, untangling himself from the other man. — Oh shit, — He started blushing. — Sorry. Did I keep you here for too long? 

— What!? — Nicky stood up, stretching his body, and turning around to offer Joe a hand. He hesitated at first and Nico noticed it, but decided it was not the best time to discuss the issue when his boyfriend took his hand anyway. — You don't have to apologize. If it was uncomfortable, I would have complained, trust me.

Joe stood up, but it was Nicky who closed the space between them, bringing their lips together. 

The dinner table was a true chaos, the fight for the last slice of the third pizza they had opened had broken out between Booker and Quynh, and they were all staring in pure curiosity to see who would win, until Nile grabbed it for herself and everyone laughed. Well, almost everyone.

Joe still had half of his second slice on the plate, he was staring at the small window and Nicky really wanted to ask what was bothering him. It was not the ideal place for it though.

— Let's take a walk? — Nicky looked at Joe who was brought back from his thoughts immediately. 

He didn't answer, he just followed as Nicky walked out of the door; they walked in silence and when Nicky stopped on the top of a cliff to watch the ocean, Joe did too. Their shoulders almost brushing, the dynamic entirely different from what it had been less than two days ago. 

_Okay, Nicolo. Now is the time._ However, before he could phrase the question, Joe brought the subject himself.

— Are you absolutely sure of this? — he asked, unable to look at Nicky even though the man was now staring at him with a confused expression. — I mean us? Because it looks a lot like you merely replaced one comfortable situation with another.

Nicky didn't even blink. 

— I mean, easy, isn't it? To just date a man to justify leaving your beliefs behind, — Joe crossed his arms, before turning fully to face Nicky.

— Easy? — Nicky sounded hurt. No, he didn't just sound hurt. He was hurt. — Easy? — he repeated, laughing bitterly this time. — Easy would be falling in love with a woman. Easy would have been going home to tell my family that I fell for some random lady at college and that we would get married, one month later I would pretend a terrible breakup and would be free of any headaches. There's nothing easy about what you and I have.

— I'm just saying, — Joe's tone changed, almost like he was already regretting the words that were still about to come out. — Maybe you think you're in love with me, but you're really just using this unconsciously to get out of something in your life that you can’t just walk away from, you know.

— Maybe you can go fuck yourself, Yusuf, — Nicky yelled. — Do you want to test your damn theory? — He slapped Joe's chest. — Let's do it. How many months do you want? — He shook his head in total disbelief and the last thing Joe saw, before Nicky turned around to go back to the house, was disappointment written all over his face.

Joe didn't move for a while and when he did, he decided to walk to the beach; the tears were already running down his face when he got there. He took his clothes off, before walking towards the sea.

xxx

Nicky was walking from one side to another, trying to find all his things and placing them inside his bag. One of Joe's shirts, that he had taken for himself, got in his way and he tossed it angrily across the room. He could barely see with so many tears blurring his vision and he shifted immediately the minute he felt two hands grabbing him.

— Nicky- 

Andy. It was Andy. He allowed himself to relax and let her guide him to sit on the bed. Quynh, Nile and Booker were already inside the room and when Nicky rubbed his eyes, he saw how worried they all looked. 

— What happened? — Nile knelt in front of him, her hand moving to his knee and drawing circles there. 

— He's the most stubborn person in the entire world. What's wrong with that idiot? 

Nicky walked them through the entire conversation and how it didn't make any sense to him. Andy couldn't help but feel a little responsible for it. She knew how much Joe listened to her and maybe her words had interfered in some way. 

— It's not your fault, — he said, touching her hand, as if he was able to read her mind.

After hearing the entire story, they all agreed with Nicky, but also tried to reason with him to wait a little bit more and talk to Joe again. If he decided that leaving was still the best option, Booker would buy him a ticket first thing in the morning.

— Leave the bag, let's go to the living room? Play a game? I think Nile brought Monopoly, — Quynh smiled.

— I absolutely did. And we will get a few cocktails and talk shit about your boyfriend so you can feel better. Even Booker who is his best friend, — Nile touched Booker's shoulder and he nodded. 

xxx

J: I need you. Can we meet? 

A: Where are you? 

J: At the beach.

A: Please tell me you're not stupid enough to sleep on the beach.

J: No!?

A: It's midnight.

J: And you're awake. Bring a blanket, please. I'm freezing. 

She smiled the minute she spotted Joe. The woman was walking without hurry until she noticed he was actually shaking; she moved faster, and placed the blanket around him as soon as she was standing behind the man. He turned to face her, eyes bright red, to sink his face on her shoulder.

— Hey, — she whispered, rubbing his back. 

Joe looked at her and she moved her hand to wipe tears from his cheek. She had a lot to ask: why was he shirtless and why did he decide it was a good idea to jump into the ocean in that weather? Why was he crying? 

She offered a smile instead. 

— See, same idiot who didn't let me sleep years ago. 

He laughed. 

— I'm indeed an idiot, Aisha.

Joe sat next to his sister, after he put his clothes on, the blanket was still around him. He explained everything, from the day he had met Nicky until his line of thought that was the reason for the entire discussion. Well, at least he thought he had explained the details. He was disturbed so he was not entirely sure.

— Alright, habibi. One piece of key information is missing here. This Nicolo is your boyfriend?

— He's not my boyfriend. This man is more to me than you can dream. He’s the moon when I’m lost in darkness and warmth when I shiver in cold. And his kiss thrills me. His heart overflows with the kindness of which this world is not worthy of. I love this man beyond measure and reason. He’s not my boyfriend. He’s all and he’s more, — he said, throwing himself to lie on the sand.

Aisha had to repress a giggle as she watched her adorable and very in love baby brother. She grabbed his hand, like they used to do when Yusuf was little and couldn't sleep because he was too afraid of the dark; he always ended up in her room because, according to 5 year old Yusuf Al-Kaysani, Aisha had magical powers and could defeat anything.

— Hm, you almost ruined everything because you were scared. 

— Almost? — He looked at her. — Almost? I ruined everything. Period. 

She offered him a hand. 

— Let's fix it then.

— You didn't see the way he was staring at me when he left. He hates me!

— Is this the same guy who told mom and dad he was a hundred percent gay without any fear? — She stood up, and he sat. — Also it's impossible to hate your adorable puppy face.

— I was scared.

— And you did it anyway. So, let's go. Now. 

He took her hand and stood up too, glad that she wrapped her arm around his waist to give him support. 

— I'll be there. You're not alone, — she whispered as they started walking. — Worst case scenario, we will both go back to Tunisia tomorrow. 

They both smiled.

xxx

— I'm worried, Andy, — Nicky said, hiding his face on his own hands. — It's been two hours and he's still not back. — He got up from the chair. — I'm going after him.

— We’ll all go, — Quynh said. 

They had spent the last hour at the kitchen, each with a cup of tea to warm themselves from the cold weather of Malta in December. When they were ready to leave, they heard the door opening and Joe walked in. He took a few unsure steps and stopped in front of the kitchen table, eyes searching for Nicky and when he found his boyfriend, all he wanted was to cry, apologize and beg him not to walk away.

Joe didn't need months, not even seconds; he opened his mouth ready to start a speech when he heard her.

— Yusuf Al-Kaysani, before you lose your dignity entirely, you have to regain some. Go take a shower,— Aisha touched his waist. — Hurry, hurry. — She allowed him to show her the way to his room.

He almost screamed when he saw Nicky's bag on top of their bed. — It's- — he reached for her support once again. — He's leaving. 

— He's not. Not now anyway. You are taking a shower and if you're feeling better, you talk to him. 

Nicky didn't even know what to think. The woman who arrived with his boyfriend was at least eight years older than him, she had the same perfect skin tone that Joe had and from a brief look, Nicky had noticed she was absolutely beautiful. And something in the way she spoke to his Yusuf made him obey immediately. He trusted her.

Was he still Nico's? A wave of panic rushed through Nicky's body when he realized they had never discussed their sexual orientations. What if that woman was an ex girlfriend? What if- He shook his head. No, Joe would never.

Nile touched his arm. 

— Let's not take conclusions before we-

In the middle of her sentence, she heard the screams coming from the room. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" "RUNNING A BATH FOR YOU." "BUT-" "SHUT UP." and then giggles echoed. Nile looked at Nicky and just held his hand.

Aisha helped her brother undress, only his underwear would stay on until she had turned around, to get inside the tub and then she gently positioned him so he wouldn't hit his head. She sat on the floor, leaning her back against the bathtub.

— I won't die by our mama's hand because you slipped out of sadness taking a shower in Malta. So, a bath it is. I could get your boyfriend and I know you would very much prefer him, but you look very pathetic right now. I'll wait here.

— Thank you, Aisha. For looking after me. 

After Joe was finished and dressed with clean and warm clothes, she guided him to bed and tucked him like she used to do when he was a small child. He murmured Nicky's name and she asked him to stay on the bed just for a few minutes while she was going to fix everything. 

When she arrived in the kitchen, all eyes turned to her. She calmly searched for a glass, opened the refrigerator to get water and then took a few sips, before turning around to face them. 

— Who's Nicolo di Genova? 

Nicky raised his hand and she took the empty seat in front of him. 

— So, — she smiled. — Nicolo, do you have siblings?

— Yes, I do. A younger brother.

His mind was still unable to connect the dots, but he decided to answer anyway just so he knew where this was going. His friends were still there to have his back no matter the outcome.

— Would you do anything to protect your baby brother? Are you two close?

— Absolutely. Yes. Anything.

— Well, then this conversation started ten times easier because you understand where I'm coming from.

His sister. Of course. Nico could see now that they had almost the same smile Almost, because Joe's was prettier. Always. 

— Oh, no. You can stay, — Aisha said when she noticed his friends were starting to get up. — Embarrassing my brother in front of his friends is my number one job. However, you- I don't even know how to start. I'm sorry for what he said. He regrets it deeply. He really does. See, he told me the whole story, — She smiled. — What you did was very brave, I hope you know that. Thank you for loving him so much even if sometimes, like tonight, you wish you could punch him. Correct me if I'm wrong but this is your first serious relationship, right? 

Nicky nodded.

— So is his. He was never in love before. Not before you. It is no excuse for his reaction earlier, but he's coming from fear. That boy really loves you and he's extremely scared. He literally waxed poetry about you the whole night, — Aisha rolled her eyes and Nicolo smiled. — And you seem very sweet and in love, and I don't want him to sabotage something that's all and more to him. His words, not mine.

Aisha told them a lot of things, from embarrassing stories of Joe’s childhood to thanking Andy for taking on her role when Aisha couldn't be there for Joe herself. Nicky was suddenly feeling a hundred percent better, he understood a lot and Aisha was as sweet and caring as her brother. She always made sure to check on everyone and ask for their stories while sharing her own. 

An hour later, after his friends had excused themselves to go to sleep, Nicky made two cups of tea for himself and Aisha and they kept chatting. He found out she was on her honeymoon; she and her husband had actually gotten married six months ago, but only now her husband could take a few days off work. They would be staying in Malta for three days and would be back home for the holidays. She was actually waiting for him to pick her up because it was rather late to walk alone. 

— Yusuf texted me three days ago, super excited to introduce me to someone. He was not wrong, you're really great. 

Nico blushed. 

— And I thought you were- oh! This is awful.

She giggled. 

— In your defense, I did walk in ordering the man to take a shower. You two should visit Tunisia soon, mom would love you.

The timing was impeccable. Joe walked out of the room the minute Aisha’s husband arrived. He paused in front of his sister, before pulling her to the biggest bear hug. 

— Don't tell mama! — he begged.

— About what? Almost dying of hypothermia or the boyfriend? — She raised an eyebrow. — I like him. Don't fuck this up. 

— You do have superpowers. — he whispered.

— I think he does too, because from what I just learned, you sleep in the dark when he's around. 

Joe's cheeks flushed crimson red and she kissed his forehead, hugging him one last time before walking away. 

Joe didn't know what to do. Was this the best time to talk to Nicky or should he wait? Should he apologize endlessly or explain his point of view? He was going to lose him. He was definitely going to lose him. 

He felt Nicky's hand touching his arm and turned around.

— How are you feeling? 

— Me? How are you feeling? — Joe reached to touch Nicky's face, but hesitated, lowering his hand. — I'm sorry. I really am. I- OK, before you go, can I try to explain myself?

— Yes, you can. 

Joe smiled, a spark of hope in his eyes. — I'm just going to get a blanket. Or do you want to do this in the morning? It's late. 

— We slept a lot. I'm fine. I'll wait on the couch. 

Nicky took a seat and when Joe did too, it took Nicky quite some effort to keep himself from wrapping his arms around his boyfriend. The scene was way too adorable: Joe had two blankets, one around his shoulders, one on top his legs; he also had grabbed a cup of tea for himself on his way to the living room.

Yusuf turned to face Nicolo, bringing his legs up and crossing them in an attempt to keep himself warmer. They were alone now, so Yusuf and Nicolo. Not just Joe and Nicky.

— I love you, Nico — he said and it was so natural that he didn't even remember it was the first time he was saying it. — And I know that today I acted like a fucking idiot, but- I'm scared. What if you don't? What if, you know? All the worst case scenarios went through my mind and instead of talking to you about it, I just panicked. I’ll understand if you want to leave Malta and I'll understand if you want to leave me. I just thought you should know that it won't happen again. I don't need a few months. Fuck, Nico, I don't need time away from you. What I need is time _with_ you.

— I just wish you had told me, Yusuf. Because I love you and I want to know if something bothers or worries you. You said to me we were together and should talk about stuff and then you did the opposite. To answer your concerns: I'm not using you to get rid of anything or to get out of anything. To be honest the situation was not ideal but not uncomfortable either. I convinced them to go to university first to get a small taste of it, seminary would be the next step. I had a few years to leave if it got too bad, until you came along. So I left because I wanted to be with you. I want to be with you. And this is not also an exploration, I'm very much gay.

— Me too, hm, the gay part, — He smiled. — I don't think we ever talked about it. But anyway, what I really want to do now is apologize. I'm deeply sorry for what I said. 

— Yeah, for what we both said, — He touched Joe's arm. — We'll work on our communication skills. Hm, what happened to you after I left? 

— Didn't Aisha tell you? 

— She clearly left the almost dying of hypothermia part out.

— I decided to go for a swim in this weather and then I stayed there watching the ocean. It was- well, an experience. I called her and, as usual, she came to my rescue. And how was your night?

Nicky didn't even think before pulling Joe to a hug, both seeking comfort and warmth in each other's arms. They were there, they were together and everything was going to be alright. When they let go, Joe kissed him.

— I stayed here with our friends and we talked shit about you, — Nico smiled, resting their foreheads together. 

— Ha! Interesting. 

Joe pulled his boyfriend by the shirt to kiss him one more time. It was a very desperate, scared, 'please don't go anywhere' type of kiss and Nico was the one who had to break it, eventually. 

— Hey, hey. We still have, like, a week left here. We have time for this. Now, I want to sleep. Sorry, let me be completely honest with you: now I want _you_ to sleep because you almost died. 

— No, I didn't. Aisha overreacted a lot. But hm, what if you're not here when I wake up? 

— I don't plan to be here, — He kissed Joe's chin. — I plan, — then his nose, — to be in bed being held by you. — And finally, his mouth. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again thank you to my friend, Nadin, for helping with this chapter ♡


End file.
